For All Of You Pet’s Peeves


The shortest distance between two headaches is the use of “for all your (blank) needs” in an advertisement. One of the websites I came across during a search for a drafting stool  assured me that the company had “all my stool, chair, and office furniture needs.”  I didn’t want to discuss my “stool needs” with a stranger  Fortunately, I needed what they didn’t have.

Using “for all your needs” is a sign of a lazy writer.  So how did an insurance agency’s ad writer managed to make it into work the day he or she used the phrase “for all your insurance needs” three times in one sixty-second ad?  I thought my head was going to explode.

Four new entries to my growing list of “needs” were added in the past few weeks.  “For all your dry cleaning needs,” “for all your outdoor grilling needs,” “for all your computer learning needs” (compliments of the infomercial guy) and “for all your swimming pool needs.”  Is it any wonder that my devil-may-care light brown hair is turning gray?

I’m waiting for a cooking school to come out with “for all your kneading needs” and for a funeral home to use “for all your pre-need needs.”

In the meantime, if you see my pet, Peeve; tell him all is forgiven and to please come home.

About wizardwalter

After more than 35-years refining the craft of ad writing I know a bad ad when I see or hear one. The majority of my time is split between consulting a select group of small businesses and creating effective ad campaigns for others. I look at the world first as a consumer, then as a marketer. Rather than bringing pre-conceived notions and snap answers to my clients, I bring a lifetime of experience based on trial and error as well as 20 years of successful sales management experience to the table. I have been an adjunct professor at the University of Wisconsin, has taught at the Wizard of Ads® Academy and speak to groups of business owners on ways to improve their advertising any chance I get. I look for business owners who have a burning desire to grow and a passion to make it happen. Then I help bring out their best. When I’m not working with clients, I’m usually researching, writing, recording commercials and viewing the world in a tree house down the road from Lake Michigan. I travel light and have easy access to Milwaukee Mitchell and Chicago O’Hare. If you’d be interested in discussing your situation let’s talk.
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